How to Deepen Your Connections with Customers


I am an artistic nerd.

I admit it.

Chess is one of my favorite games to play because I have to think at least 10 moves ahead. If I don’t understand which moves have a higher percentage of success I will most likely lose.

I also enjoy art classes. I like the freedom of coming up with something completely new that no one ever thought of before.

As you can guess I was never very good at being cool in high school. A chess-playing artist wasn’t a trait most high school girls looked for in a guy. 🙂

A quick and embarrassing story.

I remember a time when I sat down with the cool kids in the cafeteria because I was feeling brave. After a few minutes of chatting, I went to grab a drink and sat back down. They all got up and moved. I thought we were playing a game, so I joined in.

They moved again. I was the last one to move again.

They did it two more times, until I got the hint. They were moving away from me. 🙁

I’m telling you this because I didn’t understand my audience. I tried to be something I wasn’t. I wasn’t a “cool” kid. I don’t fault myself for trying, but looking back on this experience I could have saved myself a lot of embarrassment.

I should have focused on connecting with people who wanted to connect with me.

Fast-forward to today and I’ve been able to combine these right and left brained superpowers to help my clients. It’s this talent that is a huge connection point for me.

What Is a Connection Point?

A connection point is where people go to develop an emotional connection with you. Your business\’s mission is a connection point. Your company\’s story is a connection point. Your website is a connection point. Your sales people are connection points. Your live events are connection points. Your email updates are connection points.

It\’s all the places where people can find you and have a chance to learn more about you and how you help people.

Most strong businesses focus on just a few connection points. They believe in delivering a great experience from this connection point, so the connection is formed and strengthened.

I suggest that most small companies only pick 2-3 connection points to focus on such as website (home base) and email (outreach) until they have their systems fine tuned. Then they can expand out.

Once you\’ve created a connection with someone then you have a chance to deepen the connection and turn them from visitor or passive customer into a fan of what you do.

Connection is King

When you design a connection system you have to think 10 steps ahead so you can lead your potential customers to a place where they feel excited and comfortable buying from you. You want to deepen the connection before they buy because they\’ll be fans (regular buyers) instead of one time customers.

This was a struggle for me at first. I was torn between both sides of my brain. I wanted to let the creativity out, maybe a little too much. I tried to be creative and do something weird and crazy to attract readers, like my post about 25 Weird Breaks for Stress Relief over at Work Happy Now.

It was a lot of fun, but didn’t tip into other aspects of my site. It was too scattered and unfocused.

I had to learn the importance of tipping from one idea to the next. This hard lesson from High School all the way up to a few years ago has been the foundation of my business.

When I realized that most small business owners didn’t have a strong connection between their right and left brain, most are either right or left dominated, that’s when my business took off. I could see their missing connection points on their website, social media accounts and advertising campaigns. I understood what they were trying to do, but they just couldn’t quite make it happen.

You might struggle with deepening your connections because you don’t have your connection points that fit your brand. You need to bring people back to your big domino that helps people tip into 2-3 other people, helping you deepen the connection with new customers.

Putting It Together

For example let’s say you are a small business owner that sells IVR software to maintenance companies, to help them keep track of which places get cleaned, what time their crew starts, and how long it takes.

You need to look at what pain point you solve and the different ways you can make their life easier. Do you talk about the different benefits that occur when clients use your software? Do you talk about the reports that they can generate to show their clients? Do you talk about different methods of tracking?

You could probably answer all these questions in a story from past customer results. Stories are the best way to convey who you are and why you do what you do. It’s the start of every connection point.

You know more about me because of the story I told here. You might feel a connection and decide to reach out. If you do you’ll feel like you know me a little better and trust me to help you close your connection gaps.

Everything must connect back to your story. The big domino that helps people understand why you do what you do. Remember that people connect with people not just for results. They want to know you. Your story.

I see this disconnect on other people’s sites, social media accounts, advertising. There is connection gap from one message to the next. You need to find ways to connect these gaps, so people feel comfortable with who you are and what how you can help them.

Give Them a Peak into Your Treasure Chest

Developing a connection with someone on your site or social media accounts isn’t easy, but when the connection gaps begin to close it becomes much more fun.

You have to give them a peak of your value. My local HEB grocery store (Texas only) gives out samples all over the place. Free cheeses, fruits, speciality dishes sushi rolls, etc.

They lure me in and I fall in love with the flavor. They gave me a peak into what it would be like to have a chunk of that delicious cheese at home.

You have to ask yourself:

How can I give them a peak into my treasure chest and want more? 

I give away a free ebook in exchange for their email. Offer them a \”discovery session\” so you can learn more about them and see if they are a good fit for you. They get a taste of your expertise and can tell right away how much value you bring to the relationship.

You are currently holding a golden nugget. This email is my way of showing you that I love my work. The next time I launch a training course or program you know it will be good because you\’ll probably have used the ideas in this course to make more money.

Ask yourself: What little golden nugget can I give away to my potential customers so they want to deepen our relationship?


Write down something of value that you can give away to your potential customers.

Here are a few ideas:

  1. Create a free ebook.
  2. Create a group coaching call to help them solve a problem you are very good at solving.
  3. Free discovery session to educate them on how you can help them.
  4. Webinar to help solve a similar problem your clients/customers regularly face.
  5. Contest to give away one of your more popular products.

Now break it down into actionable chunks. The hard part is getting started, but once you do you\’ll finish and love the feedback that you get. Even if people don\’t buy right away this is a great relationship builder that develops trust that will pay off in the long run.

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